For all (two or three) of the fiercely avid fans of my weekly writings, I regret to inform you that this week’s piece has been canceled. And not in the cultural way like Aunt Jemima. The truth is, I’ve been up all night dealing with rebel daisy. He was beside himself because he claimed he met his doppelganger. At the time that he told me, I had to sigh. We all knew that this day would come. Well, he didn’t know it, obviously. And maybe I didn’t either. Because, really, what are the chances of encountering another unrooted daisy wearing jeans and army boots who also goes by the name rebel daisy? In retrospect, I wasn’t expecting it at all.

Anyhow, perhaps you’ve taken a gander at the rendering I did above of rebel daisy and his newly found twin. That depiction was executed at 4:47 this morning and based purely on rebel daisy’s account of their meeting. Given the overall lack of sleep and the copious amounts of sugar-coated marshmallows I’d consumed by then, I’d say I did a commendable job. rebel daisy, as usual, disagreed. He had some concerns that my interpretation made the other rebel daisy look more manly and in possession of larger genitals. Personally, I don’t see it. But the artist rarely does.

Now, you might be wondering what the other rebel daisy is saying. It turns out that siapa sih kamul!? roughly translates to what the HELL is going on!? in Indonesian. Yes, rebel daisy told me that the other rebel daisy hails from Indonesia and actually goes by bunga aster pemberontak. He added that the other rebel daisy sometimes shortened that name to ‘ron’ – which I thought made perfect sense. rebel daisy said he shortened it to ‘bung’ instead – which I thought was juvenile and a bit mean-spirited and helped me to verify him as the original rebel daisy.

But it turns out there was no need for that. There is no second rebel daisy. Indonesian or otherwise. I’d been fooled.

The whole thing was a ruse. Dissatisfied with my lack of placing him front and center on my blog, THIS blog, in the recent past, he decided to conjure up this ludicrous story and keep me up all night as retribution. He is a vengeful sort. Especially for a flower. (Though he likes to remind me that I’ve not yet met a Venus Flytrap, so I don’t really “know shit.” He’s also an eloquent sort.) Perhaps you feel that I should have punished him rather than publish this; that to now give him such unwarranted attention merely plays into his trickery. And you’d be right. The problem is, the dude is a fixture of my mind. So he sure as hell isn’t going anywhere. And I’m tired. I really want to take a nap. So this one’s for you, rebel daisy. And yeah, for bunga aster pemberontak too.

Ron for short.