Here in Armantrout, we take great pride in our town. Everyone you pass on the street will greet you with warmth, friendliness, and wide-eyed smiles that occasionally border on questionable mental illness. Plus, you’ll be gobsmacked by the beauty of our homes and businesses that bear a playful mix of Cisterian, Anthropophagy, and Herodian architectural styles – the latter of which is an homage to the Roman customer lord of Judea. Obviously.

A visit to Armantrout places you among an exclusive class of uniquely-minded travelers. In fact, our town has been likened to Florida by travel writers from the greater Eufaula, Alabama area as well as around the globe. As a case in point, Lester Leafblower from the esteemed travel journal Why Go There? eloquently stated, “Armantrout is not a place that makes anything and it’s not really a place that does anything – other than bringing in more people.” Just like Florida.

Also like Florida, Armantrout is a site to behold at any time of the day and in every season. The most popular time to visit, however, is during our annual Straw Festival in mid-March. Aquatic sea turtles aside, we’re proud to celebrate what we deem the world’s greatest invention – developed in 1864 by Armantrout’s own Benjamin Bendy. Don’t ask for ‘no straw’ with your beverage here! If possible, the best time to arrive in Armantrout is in the late evening when you can drive Bendy Boulevard along Loch Straw and observe the wind-torn whitecaps whispering and roiling while a vicious, grudge-holding moon creeps slowly across the sky. It’s all very poetic. You might even catch a glimpse of our own legendary Loch Straw monster. There are those who believe this is nothing more than a floating barge of plastic bottles given Armantrout’s “short-sighted and abysmal recycling program” (Leafblower, Lester, Why Go There?, issue #29, p. 63). But any Armantroutisian will tell you differently. So you should believe them.

While downtown Armantrout boasts major attractions such as the world-renowned Cow Museum and the illustrious Just Umbrellas! shop, it’s the now-defunct carnival site just beyond the city limits that seems to draw the most visitors. Or maybe ‘squatters who are untroubled by the cracks in the wall that seep cold air and centuries-old secrets that would make anyone shudder’ is a more accurate description.

Whatever the case, the majestic Bendy Mansion is a perfect specimen of the Anthropophagy (translated as human flesh consumption) architectural style. Working from a rather provocative belief system in 1800s Brazil that promoted consuming pilgrim oppressors to accomplish self-governance, the mansion is now epitomized by mechanical primitivism with striking dream-like symbolism. What’s more, if you’re a ghost hunter, you’ll be delighted to know that the mansion is haunted by the soul of the carnival’s resident World’s Smallest Man who had just laid bare his body and the real truth of its deformity before being trampled by a herd of cows.

So come and visit our little slice of paradise.

If you favor the quietude of isolation – away from the quick-witted quips and subsequent quicksand of human interaction that can so swiftly and skillfully swallow you whole, then Armantrout is just the place for you. Contact Belinda Bendy-Straw at the visitor’s bureau today to add Armantrout to your bucket list!